Origins: Do not be Tame (Fan fiction)

You cannot walk away from love. But you can run away from yourself once you have destroyed every last vestige of love that you had. Aidan would say that you can replace it with hate, a stronger emotion, more potent and useful, like a poison that turns your soul black. I would have liked to say that no one had control over me then, but that would pride clouding over the truth. Aidan had control over me, Marc had even more and both them wished for the Catherine that had been turned--cold, calculating. I, however, always wondered whether there was even anything else other then that Catherine, twisted through a prism of black glass, a vestige of everything that could have been decent in society's wide definition of it, but was not--ever--for as far back as I can remember. I came to believe that some people were just born evil. He made me believe it, but whereas everyone else hated me for it or channeled my energy for their ends-ends they could not themselves fathom to accomplish-only he understood it and nurtured it like a wild orchid. Ah, the men in my life and unlife. Mmmm. With him, I felt that it was alright to be myself. But his price is so high. Still, I wonder, will I end up paying it to have even the darkest light shine onto me? I dare not tell him that his pursuits frighten me. A tout prix, he says. A tout prix. I know that we will lose. That I will lose him. He who is brother, father, lover, friend, mentor, enemy, to me. And then what? Then what? Then the world truly ends. The last somber refrain in an opera that only I can hear. Then I would have completely lost myself for I doubt that Marc will have the patience to save me from myself. Forget those that cross my path.There are few men that truly accepted me, even less whom I respected. Most of them are dead now, or I, dead to them, so I believe.

( Run like wild horses )